Am I A Feminist? #Blogmas2018

A while ago I saw a video on This Morning which if you would like to view it them I have linked a YouTube video, it got me kind of annoyed that this poor woman had to deal with such a vile experience and the comments she got, I wanted to share my views and experiences I have had. Before I explain I am not out there to get peoples sympathy or to show off (disgusting but people will think it).​

Now I have never been Upskirted but I have been grabbed a few times in a club/bar, I have never mentioned this to close friends because I felt kind of dirty but I know I shouldn't, why should I be ashamed, the people that violated my space should. In my previous job when I worked for a company who owned a restaurant, a bar and a nightclub I finished my night shift after the restaurant and me and a friend (somebody I worked with) decided to have a drink in the club so we went and we were dancing having a nice time, a guy came up behind me and grabbed my bottom and pushed his pelvis into the back of me, he was drunk and clearly out of his face and high as a kite. Me and my friend decided to leave but I never reported it.

Another time I was working behind the bar in the bar at a private event, I was the only one behind the bar and had this guy trying to chat me up, I wasn't bothered because he wasn't doing any harm, I kept telling him to enjoy the party with his friends but instead he stayed at the bar and kept asking me out, asked me when my shift finished and how about a drink after my shift, I wasn't interested in him. One of my bosses (the boss I got on with) came into the bar and found me there and thanked me for doing this shift because it was supposed to be my day off, he gave me a side hug, the guy from the bar asked if he was my boyfriend and obviously said no. The guys friend dragged him onto the dance floor telling him 'leave the poor lass alone', nobody was at the bar so I went to collect some glasses and he came up and slapped my bottom, thankfully the security (doorman) saw and dragged him out, the guy's friend apologised for his drunk friend and that was that.

I ignored those things but when the friend I worked with rang me one night saying she was leaving the job, I could tell in her voice that she was truly upset, she told me about the one of the guys at work who was talking to her really inappropriately. I explained we should go to the bosses and discuss the situation with them, why should he get away with it and why should she leave, she has done nothing wrong. Me and this girl are the same age but I was more than a bartender/waitress so she came to me, I don't know if she was giving me notice or for me to pass onto the bosses but I really wanted to help her so we discussed it with one of the bosses and when I mentioned that we could go to the police because of this whole situation, the boss reassured us that he would sort it out and no need to go to the police, he told her to have some time off whilst he sorts it out. Nothing got sorted out, she never came back and the guy just seemed to mess with my head as well as my hours and I just left it, the situation got worse, I left because of the hours. Now I think about it I never stood up for my friend or myself, I should have been stronger and realised that these guys were sticking together, I have spoken to this boss since, he hasn't been in touch with the guy but I realise now that if I want to get anywhere in life I can't let guys make me feel bad. I wonder if my ex-boss will ever read this and realise it is him and how he made me feel, not only did he let me down he let my friend, his employee down.

This ex-boss did smaller things that made me feel inadequate, I would suggest something and he wouldn't like it but I would mention it to the other employee who was the same age, no more qualified than me and the boss would take the advice but he was male.

I have been wolf whistled in the street and it doesn't really bother me but I know some women don't like it and I can see that it can make people quite awkward and you generally don't hear women do it to men so why is that acceptable?

Harvey Weinstein has been accused of some very vile things that he has done to women truly or falsely, I don't know if it did happen as I weren't there but I believe he did do it, why has so many people come forward of all these stories and I believe there are people out there like him who blackmail women for a step up in their careers. This whole thing (I don't know what to call it) has triggered the #MeToo social media campaign and I think it is quite powerful women sticking by each other and the support from men.

I know that there are men out there that have been in similar situations being sexually exposed/assaulted by other women and men so I am not saying it is only women that go through this but it seems men have it slightly easier, they have more power. Apparently Channel 4 has gender pay gap of 24.2% and BBC has gender pay gap of 9% which sickens me, if I was to find out that I was doing the same job as a man but he got paid more than me I would hit the roof. I wonder if there are men out there that when it comes to interviewing they think women have time off for period - not true for me, I had a year of hell when it came to my period and didn't take time off for it, my periods still are terrible but don't take time off, women have babies - not every woman want babies, not every woman can have babies - if I was told that I can't have a baby I would be devastated and would feel worse to know that people would judge maybe my gender.

I have proven myself to so many boys and men before, when I was 11 I joined a rugby team, it wasn't normal for girls to play rugby but I joined in and the boys were okay except for one boy who never passed to me or let me join in so one time I tackled him to the ground and made him cry, this may sound sick but I was so happy and I left the team but the boy was so ashamed that a girl tackled him and I heard that the boys taunted him about it for ages. My friend who was in the team (a boy) told me that it was the first time he saw him cry. Again I felt so good.

Also at my old job we used to have these plant pots that would be put outside when the restaurant was open and we would bring them in when closed, the restaurant had about five steps to go down and these plant pots were heavy, the manager nagged the boss (the one I got on with) to put them outside, he delayed it so I said I would but of course I couldn't my boss said "you can't do it you are a woman" I had to prove it him wrong and managed it but he shouldn't judge me on my gender.

People used to think I was thick because of the large boobs and the blonde hair.

The way people say 'feminist' it is as if it is a dirty thing, wrong to be a feminist but when you look at the meaning it is something so right.

After dinner one night me, my mum and sister Amelia got talking about women's rights and bits and we got talking about somebody I know taking time off of work when she got her period and when we asked her if she was in pain she said 'no I have never had period pains', it's women like her that give women a bad name, I have never took time off because I had a period and my periods are really heavy and painful. I feel for those small business that have women go on maternity leave and they have to pay for a temp plus the mother, I know it could cripple companies but its having a balance. I read a story about a woman who went for an interview at quite a big worldwide company and she was asked what her five years plain was, she explained that she would like to grow the career ladder, buy her first house and bits, on the form she had to fill out which she saw the interviewer had in front of him it asked to identify the specific relationship status she was in and she circled engaged, the guy who was doing the interview asked if she was planning on starting a family. Now she hadn't mentioned to anybody because she felt it weren't necessary (which I agree) that she was infertile but she wondered if men were asked that question because men take paternity leave and can take the full time.

Cyndi Lauper went on The Late Late Show With James Corden and sang a remix of her famous 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', I have put the clip in, watch the video, read the subtitles, that is what girls want, that is what this girl (ME!) wants. The lyrics 'guys, if she's mad its not PMS...' why do some guys think that if a woman is upset or mad that they must be on their period, first of all that doesn't help our mood but we as women have other stresses.

I don't think women should be classes as the better gender, I don't think men should be, I think it should be equal, there are obviously certain things women can do better than men (giving birth) and same goes to men but why don't we unite and be a supportive community.

Am I a feminist?