2020 For Me #Blogmas2020

2020 for me has been a rollercoaster but I feel like it has been like that for everyone. I have quit a job, struggled during the pandemic, started a new job, made friends with other local businesses and just mentally been baffled.

Quit a job

In a favourites blog post I mentioned how I loved my job that I started in Yorkshire but it turned sour and I will one day write a blog post about this job but it was my time to leave and people could see I was so unhappy and could see the reason why I was unhappy. I actually handed in my notice the week before the first lockdown. I would like to thank Hollie and Claire for being my rock, without them I probably would have had a mental breakdown and also I want to thank Jim, I know I have probably disappointed him and if he ever sees me again which is very likely as he works in the area I live in but if he ever sees me again he probably won’t talk to me and that actually makes me really upset. In the blog post about my job I will explain this in more detail.

Struggling during the pandemic

I know a lot of people struggled during the pandemic but it has made me realise that I need my own space but also need people (besides my family) around me. You may have read my Me & My Health blog posts and I have struggled with my emotions, I have cried so much from leaving my job to now. I can’t deal with the uncertainty, the idea that I am not free, the fact that the new normality is something completely not me. I struggle wearing the face masks, I panicked because my breathing gets fast and I don’t feel like I can catch my breath but if I don’t wear a face mask my sibling judge me and tell me I am disgusting for not doing that. I have struggled with the fact that my business had finally started taking off and companies were going to stock my products and that just took a U-turn. I have gained a lot of weight during this pandemic and I feel like I can’t cope with that. I don’t think it is healthy to be in the same house with the same people for 24 hours, 7 days a week, I was so looking forward to going back to work and seeing other people, hearing their opinions and points of view, what they have been doing, what they have been eating, silly things like that. I have tried to keep it in as much as possible, having little crying sessions in the shower where nobody can hear me because I feel selfish putting my issues on my parents as they have enough on their plates. Not only that but I have gained all the weight I lost last year, I am not at my heaviest weight but I am still big.

Starting a new job

I started my new job a month into the first lockdown and what was quite nice is the fact I was working with people I knew but what really made me struggle was the fact I was starting in a new job in the same industry I had just been in but a new role and trying to train on Microsoft Teams was difficult. I am now glad to be back in the office, trained up but also in another role with more responsibilities within the company.

2020 hasn’t been all bad, I have seen businesses locally to me actually grow, they have reinvented themselves to be able to survive this pandemic but I am just hoping 2021 is better, better for the world but better for me.